Inspired by the McSweeney's Recommends page, here's my own attempt:
Henry's Recommends:
Stratego
I don't remember the rules to this board game but I have fond memories of playing it with my brother. It's red vs. blue with spies and bombs in glorious conflict. A merciful end to the bloodshed is delayed as the opposing generals squabble over how to properly pronounce the name.
Bamboo Shoots, also those little corns
Taking Chinese food to the next level.
Michael Palin
This guy's a class act all the way.
Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn
It's an epistolary novel, which means it's composed entirely of letters written back and forth by all the characters, which means that it won't take long to read, which means you might as well pick up a copy and read it, which means you won't be sorry.
Dr. Katz
This cartoon made with SquiggleVision (TM) is long gone, but it was pretty funny.
The Pixies
A great band. I often entertain fantasies that I'm in heaven and the Pixies circa 1990 are playing live. In Heaven, Everything is Fine.
White Noise
This really helps me fall asleep at night. A good powerful ceiling fan will usually do the trick.
Joust
Every time you hit the button, your ostrich mount's wings flap in this excellent 80's arcade game. Your enemies fly on evil buzzards and will turn into eggs if you bop their heads from above. Catch the eggs before they hatch into newer and more powerful enemies. As far as video games, I might also recommend Lemmings and Tetris.
QB through QL
This is the section of libraries that has aliens, UFOs, Bigfoot, Loch Ness, and all that good stuff. I was compelled as a child to cling fervently to this section and no other, fearful of ever venturing out into the mysterious unknown, aka the rest of the world.
Large Antique Scissors
Especially when they're a tarnished gold. I wonder, what did people cut with them? Was paper thicker back then?
Used CD Stores
What happened? Where did they go? There used to be three or four on the street by campus. Now they're all gone. This is where I want to buy my music. I like paying 8 bucks or maybe finding a discounted CD for 5. There's always that glorious time you go when you find exactly what you're looking for, like cosmic forces are conspiring in your favor.
Holograms
Where you move to one side and it seems to come alive. I want one made of me. Maybe where I'm giving a wink.
Finding out that the puppeteer of a Punch & Judy show is called a Professor
Or that Theodore Roosevelt, in the dead of winter on a river, once chased down a couple of thieves who stole his rowboat, and when he caught up with them he made them surrender, went and borrowed a wagon, set off cross-country with the thieves in custody, and trekked 40 miles on foot in snow-covered Badlands to finally bring them to justice, with the most memorable part being that during this time he managed to read all of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina.
Jackson Five
A few of their songs are proof of God's existence? Difficult to explain.
Admiral Ratbar
Try this at home: Take your Admiral Ackbar action figure and twist its head around 180 degrees so that the pointy part at the back of its head is now in the front where it looks like the nose of a rat. Now you've made Admiral Ratbar! He's the evil antithesis of saintly Admiral Ackbar. No doubt he's in cahoots with Jabba the Hutt. I like how he's still an Admiral.
Aglets
The little plastic sheaths on the ends of your shoelaces. Deftly facilitate easy passage through the holes, or "eyelets". Such spunk on those things. Inspiring.
The Artful Dodger
This is the character in Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist. He's the mischeivous rapscallion with the top hat and man's coat who introduces Oliver to Fagin. When I was a kid, I think I really wanted to be him.
Corvidae
I like the look of the crows and ravens.
Percussion
As in drums. This is going to be the huge thing this Summer.
The General
This Buster Keaton movie inspired Monty Python to make their movies' settings more realistic. Amazing and riveting.
African Tribal Figurines
When I go to a museum, this is pretty much the only area I want to check out. The artists often break up the body and face in such a way that I want to have this power.
Mixing Hummus with Chopped Tomatoes
What a winning combination. Probably best in synthesis with pita.
Walrae
Aye, the walrus is a fine animal.
Things you might like, but I don't:
Post-Henson Kermit the Frog
"Red, Red Wine" by UB40
Joe Matt's Peep Show
Emeril
The comedy of Drew Carey
Poker
The scene in Superman 3 where the ray turns the woman into a robot
Spawn
Sports video games
The science fiction of L. Ron Hubbard
Phantom of the Opera (the musical)
Home videos of mishaps and accidents
Star Wars, Episode II, Attack of the Clones
Hot tomatoes
Overrated:
Most french fries
Tim Burton
Also:
Does anyone else think that the Hey Ya song is actually pretty sad and melancholy?
Or that Korn is upbeat, silly, and happy sounding?
Henry's Recommends:
Stratego
I don't remember the rules to this board game but I have fond memories of playing it with my brother. It's red vs. blue with spies and bombs in glorious conflict. A merciful end to the bloodshed is delayed as the opposing generals squabble over how to properly pronounce the name.
Bamboo Shoots, also those little corns
Taking Chinese food to the next level.
Michael Palin
This guy's a class act all the way.
Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn
It's an epistolary novel, which means it's composed entirely of letters written back and forth by all the characters, which means that it won't take long to read, which means you might as well pick up a copy and read it, which means you won't be sorry.
Dr. Katz
This cartoon made with SquiggleVision (TM) is long gone, but it was pretty funny.
The Pixies
A great band. I often entertain fantasies that I'm in heaven and the Pixies circa 1990 are playing live. In Heaven, Everything is Fine.
White Noise
This really helps me fall asleep at night. A good powerful ceiling fan will usually do the trick.
Joust
Every time you hit the button, your ostrich mount's wings flap in this excellent 80's arcade game. Your enemies fly on evil buzzards and will turn into eggs if you bop their heads from above. Catch the eggs before they hatch into newer and more powerful enemies. As far as video games, I might also recommend Lemmings and Tetris.
QB through QL
This is the section of libraries that has aliens, UFOs, Bigfoot, Loch Ness, and all that good stuff. I was compelled as a child to cling fervently to this section and no other, fearful of ever venturing out into the mysterious unknown, aka the rest of the world.
Large Antique Scissors
Especially when they're a tarnished gold. I wonder, what did people cut with them? Was paper thicker back then?
Used CD Stores
What happened? Where did they go? There used to be three or four on the street by campus. Now they're all gone. This is where I want to buy my music. I like paying 8 bucks or maybe finding a discounted CD for 5. There's always that glorious time you go when you find exactly what you're looking for, like cosmic forces are conspiring in your favor.
Holograms
Where you move to one side and it seems to come alive. I want one made of me. Maybe where I'm giving a wink.
Finding out that the puppeteer of a Punch & Judy show is called a Professor
Or that Theodore Roosevelt, in the dead of winter on a river, once chased down a couple of thieves who stole his rowboat, and when he caught up with them he made them surrender, went and borrowed a wagon, set off cross-country with the thieves in custody, and trekked 40 miles on foot in snow-covered Badlands to finally bring them to justice, with the most memorable part being that during this time he managed to read all of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina.
Jackson Five
A few of their songs are proof of God's existence? Difficult to explain.
Admiral Ratbar
Try this at home: Take your Admiral Ackbar action figure and twist its head around 180 degrees so that the pointy part at the back of its head is now in the front where it looks like the nose of a rat. Now you've made Admiral Ratbar! He's the evil antithesis of saintly Admiral Ackbar. No doubt he's in cahoots with Jabba the Hutt. I like how he's still an Admiral.
Aglets
The little plastic sheaths on the ends of your shoelaces. Deftly facilitate easy passage through the holes, or "eyelets". Such spunk on those things. Inspiring.
The Artful Dodger
This is the character in Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist. He's the mischeivous rapscallion with the top hat and man's coat who introduces Oliver to Fagin. When I was a kid, I think I really wanted to be him.
Corvidae
I like the look of the crows and ravens.
Percussion
As in drums. This is going to be the huge thing this Summer.
The General
This Buster Keaton movie inspired Monty Python to make their movies' settings more realistic. Amazing and riveting.
African Tribal Figurines
When I go to a museum, this is pretty much the only area I want to check out. The artists often break up the body and face in such a way that I want to have this power.
Mixing Hummus with Chopped Tomatoes
What a winning combination. Probably best in synthesis with pita.
Walrae
Aye, the walrus is a fine animal.
Things you might like, but I don't:
Post-Henson Kermit the Frog
"Red, Red Wine" by UB40
Joe Matt's Peep Show
Emeril
The comedy of Drew Carey
Poker
The scene in Superman 3 where the ray turns the woman into a robot
Spawn
Sports video games
The science fiction of L. Ron Hubbard
Phantom of the Opera (the musical)
Home videos of mishaps and accidents
Star Wars, Episode II, Attack of the Clones
Hot tomatoes
Overrated:
Most french fries
Tim Burton
Also:
Does anyone else think that the Hey Ya song is actually pretty sad and melancholy?
Or that Korn is upbeat, silly, and happy sounding?
