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Wednesday, July 25, 2007 

Clone story 8

I am made up of four indistinct clones of a variety not found on this plane nor on the proximate planes adjacent to this one.  I have thoroughly researched my claim and expect no criticism.  On Tuesdays I have an expert checker make sure that the four clones are indistinct and as a whole encompass and compose my current external being.  I pay the man well.  His salary is comparable to those adopting similar advocations.  I keep a good relationship with him and the other workers.  Bi-weekly written reports inked into paper by my employees indicate to me any areas that need improvement.  As it stands I am receiving quite satisfactory marks in this regard.  A scientist by the name of Wartgrope is a cunning young fellow in my employ.  I send him out on errands of a mercantile variety.  The Grocery Store is a common destination point.  As is the Bank and the Local Constabulary.  It is in the latter that I purchase protection.  A hundred armored "cop" soldiers can keep me guarded while I take daily walks, pic-nic, or invite acquaintances over to the compound for a game of squash.  As I have told the newspapers on numerous occasions, I do not utilize their services for outright militaristic activities.  They are merely employed for defensive measures.  Friends of mine consider the police people as an excuse to keep personal armies and wage war on neighbors.  I approve and support because they are my friends.  Secretly, however, I feel as if civilization is fragmenting as a result of their ill intentions.  Quakes from within the structure are slowly weakening the outer surface.  Like civilization, I shudder, barely able to contain the sense of dread and anxiety I feel for the fate of our great society.

I drank about a pound of water yesterday.  I also found two meals.  This is an improvement over last year from this date.  I commemorated the anniversary by fervently wishing for my own well-being.  I did not notice any changes in my sweating patterns.

I should tell you about my good friend Hansa O'Plaus.  She is an aunt to the Governor.  As well as an accomplished fish collector.  I see her every Sunday and Wednesday for reasons neither of us are ready to disclose, nor truly understand.  It is a harsh practice of stretching gloves, our favorite pastime together.  We do not make the job easy for ourselves, I believe we do so because we are purposefully trying to lead lives of struggle and romance.  Hansa's favorite hair is blonde.  Her favorite dish is the plate.  I have remarked to many how much I enjoy her choice of clocks, and I won't do so again here.  One thing I wish to touch upon is her decision to keep assorted dogs on the second floor.  My opinion is that they are aesthetic oddities.  A visitor to the second floor will no doubt be surprised to see them dotting the carpets and sometimes even draped about the furniture.  There are times when I have suggested to Ms. O'Plaus that she build enclosures around them so visitors won't be so surprised.  But as time has grown, I have become accustomed to the sight of the various dogs.  I believe they provide important services.  Scientists are still discovering their capabilities with heat and light.  When I call the Science Center, the men there are always eager to assure me that much work is proceeding with dogs and I shouldn't worry.  I have heard they might be good for healing small wounds.  At any rate, Ms. O'Plaus (Hansa) is enamored with the dogs and I will not tamper with the aesthetics she has chosen for the second floor.

Ms. O'Plaus is considering becoming a neighbor to the city's vast homeless population.  She is looking into portable living spaces.  I believe there are a number of affordable options, most notably the one that resembles a castle.

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