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Wednesday, July 25, 2007 

Esther poem


        Twas a night such as this with the water all still
        And the cold wind so cutting that your bones feel the chill
        On Widow's Pillows, near the Cape of Luncumber
        The crew of Red William endeavored to slumber

        'Fore the Sandman could start to dispense his supply
        The night air be punctured by a terrible cry
        Brooding over the prow was a dark plum-red cloud
        It be what which is known as a "shrieking spectral shroud"

        Now the Shroud is a ghost and a vile one at that
        It can swallow you whole and spit out your fat
        It hungers for flesh, it'll settle for souls
        Your mind's made its slave which it cruelly controls

        Now a pirate is fearless when it comes to most things
        Like the thunder of cannons or the threats of daft kings
        He's not scared of a tussle, a row, or a brawl
        The noose, or a knife edge, or a nasty black squall

        But as soon as there's something supernatural or ghastly
        You can bet he'll be screaming and fleeing quite fastly
        And this night's no exception to that one simple rule
        For when the men eyed the Shroud, not a one kept his cool

        Some jumped overboard, which is not very wise
        For the sharks known to eat you 'fore you says yer good-byes
        Others climbed to the crow's nest - This I don't recommend
        For if harpies assault you, it be hard to defend

        There's not a thing to be done 'cept to run 'round and whoop
        Wave your arms to-and-fro, and act like a big doop
        Go ahead panic, make ruckus, lose all composure
        Be aware that your life's due for imminent closure

        So most of the pirates in a very small area
        Flipped out, went daffy, and succumbed to hysteria
        But there was one on-board that was brave and undaunted
        Who remained unfazed when the ship became haunted

        She was a lovely lass who went by the name Esther
        And when it came to ghost-catchin', there was none who could best her
        She could exorcize, ensorcel, as well as ensnare
        Hoodwink and hornswoggle even the Scariest Scare

        Head on she faced this phantasmic force
        Its frightful shriek contained not a hint of remorse
        And while all around her raged the mad pirate mob
        Esther just stood there and appraised the big blob

        She calmly said, "Pardon me, Mr. Shroud, sir
        I think that the Captain and I would prefer
        That you found a new ship to plague and pursue
        Please take your leave... You're blocking our view"

        After saying these words she lifted her hands,
        And traced mystic sigils no one understands
        She muttered some things to make her spell complete
        And -Poof!- The Shroud vanished with one final bleat

        "All's clear! The nightmare's gone!", Ms. Esther said
        Then she bid them good night and went back to bed
        No pirate noticed of course due to the din
        It took until dawn for her words to sink in

        For the rest of the night, the crew of Red Willy
        Ran around scared and acted quite silly
        Despite this loud bedlam and raising of hell
        Esther still managed to sleep rather well

        When they saw that the spectre had been sent away
        The pirates gave out a big, "Hip! Hip! Hooray!"
        "I am happy to help", Ester said with a bow
        Now could everyone please wash themselves now?"

        That's the thing about Essie, she liked everything clean
        But nobody minded maintaining their hygiene
        For with Esther around there was nothing to fear
        She made the Main safe for every single Buccaneer!

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