When I want a dog sent into space...
When I want a dog sent into space, I don't want to send my own dog. I don't want to send a dog that is regular-sized either. I don't even want to send a dog that doesn't have glowing red eyes and flames rising from its back. This is why I clone my space dogs. Through the use of simple DNA manipulations and molecular engineering, it's easy to make my cosmic canines exactly how I want them, without all that mess.
Years ago, I wanted a dog sent into space so that it could die. With cloning, I could properly ensure it would not have the necessary biological make-up to survive the vacuum of outer space. Another time more recently, I wanted a dog that could shoot out its own teeth at satellite targets. It was a piece of cake with cloning! And boy was it fun to watch those teeth fly! I know a lot of people say that you should send your own dog and mutate it first with radioactive rays. I just think that's cruel. Sure, there is that element of developed kinship and personal bond when you use your own dog, but who really needs that when you just want them to bark fire or have the head of a human being thousands and thousands of miles above the earth's surface? Also, I'm sorry, but radioactive mutation rays are not fool-proof. You're more likely to get the desired result with cloning than with the ray. My friend told me one time that a ray made his boston terrier walk upright on two legs, spray out nitrogen gas from its four-foot ears, and develop a compulsion to lick electrical outlets, not-to-mention get bloated and irritable. When I heard that I said "great!". But my friend apparently wanted hydrogen gas, not nitrogen. I'm pretty sure that, with cloning, he would have gotten that H.
Here's a few things I've done with space dogs and cloning, two things that go great together!
I made a dog expand to the size of a small city once it reached outer space. There it still remains, in orbit like a baby moon. Other dogs I've sent up there live on it like fleas. But they have to watch out for the flames! I always got to have the flames. ;)
Another dog could speak German. I'm not exactly sure what dialect. It's currently living on the big moon dog, and is having trouble speaking to the other dogs. Cracks me up.
I took two dogs and merged them into one. Those ones died because one was cloned to want to eat the other one. Later, I cloned five (5) dogs to be merged together into one giant monster. I call it Egg -- I hope that it somehow finds a way to reproduce because I think that would be neat. Currently its tethered in space to a big dog who is made of solid steel and can't move.
Fluff is a poodle with a really long thin body. She's practically a length of rope. I've thought of using her to tie to other dogs but that just sounds cruel. So instead I launched her further and farther than the other dogs and I'm pretty sure she's slowly moving away from everything outward into the void forever and ever and ever.
I made one dog whose eyes were replaced with two smaller dogs (glowing red, of course). And the eyes of those same smaller dogs were two even smaller dogs! That's about as far as I could go, but I'd like to at least get down a few more levels. I didn't send that space dog into space because my mom liked it too much. I'm hoping I can make a better one (with smaller and smaller dogs as eyes) so at least one of these can experience the cold dark vastness of eternity.
There was one dog that was really big with glowing red eyes, fire-fur, stilt-like legs, insect wings, marsupial pouch (with an uncloned baby kangaroo in there for kicks), tongue-of-mud, pirate fetish, zip-lock stomach, and horns. I called him Canadian Woman's Finest and he won a couple of awards at space dog conventions. On my birthday, I sent him into space and he disappeared forever. I'd like to think he's still out there somewhere, melting or boiling or getting chopped up.
Well, I hope this has been an informative entertaining look at what can be accomplished when one clones one's space dogs. Maybe readers will think twice before aiming that ray on their little pooch.
Years ago, I wanted a dog sent into space so that it could die. With cloning, I could properly ensure it would not have the necessary biological make-up to survive the vacuum of outer space. Another time more recently, I wanted a dog that could shoot out its own teeth at satellite targets. It was a piece of cake with cloning! And boy was it fun to watch those teeth fly! I know a lot of people say that you should send your own dog and mutate it first with radioactive rays. I just think that's cruel. Sure, there is that element of developed kinship and personal bond when you use your own dog, but who really needs that when you just want them to bark fire or have the head of a human being thousands and thousands of miles above the earth's surface? Also, I'm sorry, but radioactive mutation rays are not fool-proof. You're more likely to get the desired result with cloning than with the ray. My friend told me one time that a ray made his boston terrier walk upright on two legs, spray out nitrogen gas from its four-foot ears, and develop a compulsion to lick electrical outlets, not-to-mention get bloated and irritable. When I heard that I said "great!". But my friend apparently wanted hydrogen gas, not nitrogen. I'm pretty sure that, with cloning, he would have gotten that H.
Here's a few things I've done with space dogs and cloning, two things that go great together!
I made a dog expand to the size of a small city once it reached outer space. There it still remains, in orbit like a baby moon. Other dogs I've sent up there live on it like fleas. But they have to watch out for the flames! I always got to have the flames. ;)
Another dog could speak German. I'm not exactly sure what dialect. It's currently living on the big moon dog, and is having trouble speaking to the other dogs. Cracks me up.
I took two dogs and merged them into one. Those ones died because one was cloned to want to eat the other one. Later, I cloned five (5) dogs to be merged together into one giant monster. I call it Egg -- I hope that it somehow finds a way to reproduce because I think that would be neat. Currently its tethered in space to a big dog who is made of solid steel and can't move.
Fluff is a poodle with a really long thin body. She's practically a length of rope. I've thought of using her to tie to other dogs but that just sounds cruel. So instead I launched her further and farther than the other dogs and I'm pretty sure she's slowly moving away from everything outward into the void forever and ever and ever.
I made one dog whose eyes were replaced with two smaller dogs (glowing red, of course). And the eyes of those same smaller dogs were two even smaller dogs! That's about as far as I could go, but I'd like to at least get down a few more levels. I didn't send that space dog into space because my mom liked it too much. I'm hoping I can make a better one (with smaller and smaller dogs as eyes) so at least one of these can experience the cold dark vastness of eternity.
There was one dog that was really big with glowing red eyes, fire-fur, stilt-like legs, insect wings, marsupial pouch (with an uncloned baby kangaroo in there for kicks), tongue-of-mud, pirate fetish, zip-lock stomach, and horns. I called him Canadian Woman's Finest and he won a couple of awards at space dog conventions. On my birthday, I sent him into space and he disappeared forever. I'd like to think he's still out there somewhere, melting or boiling or getting chopped up.
Well, I hope this has been an informative entertaining look at what can be accomplished when one clones one's space dogs. Maybe readers will think twice before aiming that ray on their little pooch.
