pragalagma

My brother Brian decided to make shirts, mugs, and other knick-knacks with the all-too-familiar "Due to heightened security measures, is prohibited." phrase they have on signs everywhere these days.
After an intensive brainstorming session with me, only a couple made the cut. I'm proud to say "monkeys" was one of them. Here are some more ideas:


Due to heightened security measures, adverbs are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, necromancy is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, amputation is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, attending your aunt's birthday is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, heightened security measures are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, Kansas is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, envelopes are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, breakfast cereals are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, Armageddon is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, catching your flight on time is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, clowns are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, red glowing eyes are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, bermuda shorts are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, fishsticks are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, lunar eclipses are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, invisibility is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, cavorting is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, peanut butter sandwiches are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, magical abilities of any kind are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, sushi is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, tickling is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, the internet is prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, goldfish are prohibited
Due to heightened security measures, dental floss is prohibited